What I Go To School For

So it sems like a long time since I’ve blogged, at least a blog that doesn’t involve a ridiculously fantastic road trip! I thought I’d had it with road trips for a while what with Lesotho and Victoria Falls/ Botswana but just before writing this I’ve found out that I will be visiting the ‘Wild Coast’ this long weekend! This blog won’t contain any photos of breath taking natural beauty but rather the pictures this week will be a tribute to the wonderful friends who I’ve made during my too short a time in SA!

So, after returning from Easter break I spent a full day recovering and trying to regain some energy before beginning teaching practise. As I have stated in previous blogs I will be teaching in Khwezi Lomso Comprehensive in the Zwedi township area of Port Elizabeth. Teaching practise consists, for me, of 3 weeks block teaching with one tutor visit which, unlike home, is to be arranged by me. Now approaching the half way stage of my teaching practise I will fill you in on some of the stories and some of the experiences which I have had so far.

The first morning took me by surprise. Assembly was the first time I really grasped a sense of what 1500 kids in one place looked like and trust me it looks like a lot! I was slightly apprehensive about starting teaching but amazingly on Monday morning I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders and I don’t know what to put it down to other than God’s hand of car upon me. At assembly the principal criticised the pupils singing and waited for a teacher to lead the pupils in another song. When no teacher was forthcoming, one of the girls in the concrete court where they meet started singing and her voice was incredible! In fact as everyone else began to accompany her the sound was just uplifting and I think that had something to do with my being at ease as well. I really respect that girl for leading her classmates in song…I wonder how many pupils would be willing to do that in Northern Ireland?

I spent the first couple of days observing again and arranging my timetable for my classes and then began teaching on Wednesday. After a slow start with my first class I had an experience which made me realise why I’ve chosen to become a teacher. I was teaching a Grade 8 class about world religions and they were really responding and interacting well, which was much more than I had expected. I expected the pupils would be timid but not so in this class. As the children had participated so well I gave them the opportunity to ask me questions about NI and I in turn would ask them questions about SA. It was fantastic to see how enthusiastic they were to learn new things and at the same time I was able to learn from them. Teaching as a two way process, the way it ought to be! As the discussion evolved one of the children asked me what my national anthem was and then the others asked me to sing it so I made a deal with them that if they sang their National Anthem I would sing mine. Immediately the children started to sing and gradually they all started to rise to their feet and stand with hands over their hearts. They were singing with such volume, pride and passion that my heart was stirred. It was actual beautiful to see these kids singing unashamedly about their country and their teacher even walked in when she heard them and started singing with them. It was absolutely fantastic but then it was my turn to sing. Nothing I could produce would match what I had just seen but I did my best at a rendition of God Save the Queen! Afterwards some of the kids asked me for my autograph so I must have done alright!

I spent the next couple of days covering for a Life Orientation teacher who was away for some reason. The main focus of my teaching has been on world religions and it’s actually been really interesting for me to learn something about other religions. I’ve found myself learning as I’ve been teaching and so the lessons have evolved throughout the day. I found that when teaching the same lesson 6 times over in a day that the first lesson is not exactly the same as the sixth lesson. This is one thing that I don’t think I’ll miss about secondary teaching, the repetition of lessons, although it does save on planning time…I always knew the secondary ones had it easy! My fears about teaching in a secondary school have also been relieved as I found out through one of my class discussions that children in SA start school two year later than in NI so when teaching a Grade 8 or 9 class I am effectively teaching the same content as I would in P6 or P7 back home as the learners are at the same mental level even if they are a bit more physically and emotionally developed! The language barrier, or perhaps more accurately, the language barrier is also something which I have had to address. Sometimes in class it is very difficult to make out what the children are saying and so I’ve found myself having to ask them to repeat themselves several times before I gain an understanding and on occasion they’ve had to do likewise with me.

I’ve always introduced an A-Z of Northern Ireland lesson which I’ve been able to use when I’m covering a class which I was unable to prepare for, such as today when I was told that I would be covering a class for a teacher who wasn’t in. My favourite part is undoubtedly when I tell them the story of Finn MacCool and the Giant’s Causeway. I love going into story telling mode and I love seeing the captivated looks on the children’s faces when they soak in every detail and then the utter disbelief when I tell them that the story is actually just a legend…it’s amazing how many of them actually believe it! While I’m doing the A-Z of NI I also get them to compile an A-Z of SA so again I’ve been learning lots about their culture and things which they see as special about their culture. I’ve also been picking up lots of Xhosa words which I can now use, my favourite being ‘uxolo’ which means peace (the x is not pronounced as we would pronounce an x but is rather a clicking sound, and is one of three clicking sounds within Xhosa speak!) Teaching practise has so far been a very different experience to what I have at home but I am so glad that I am experiencing it because it is really broadening my perspective of teaching and making me aware of how lucky we are as teachers in NI to be so well resourced!

Of course teaching practise has been taking up most of my life and is absolutely draining me of energy but I have also been managing to keep up the social side of things. We spent a lot of last week on the beach playing volleyball, football and body boarding. There’s definitely more of a chill in the air these days as autumn approaches but of course that isn’t going to stop a hardened Northern Irish lad from going to the beach! I actually had a rather action packed weekend just past which involved go karting, hockey and paintball. On Friday night a large group went bowling at the Boardwalk which is a massive entertainment complex geared mainly towards tourists and so has everything. A couple of us didn’t feel like bowling though so we took a walk around the complex and ended up go karting which was fun, if not up to the standards of the world famous Super Drive in the Birches! After a relaxing Saturday Sunday was the complete opposite. I had my first hockey match of the season at 8am in the morning! I can’t ever remember having a match that early bar possibly at the British University Games but I don’t even think they were that early! Nevertheless we travelled across town to face a side called Man United who actually turned out to be a bunch of unfit old men who we overturned comfortably 4-1. Still it was good to be playing competitively again!

On getting back to the Bantry I had just made some breakfast when Henrik, one of the Swedes, told me that we were going paintballing, so up I got again and went on my merry way. We must have spent about 2 or 3 hours shooting each other through bush terrain before we eventually decided we had had enough. Two of the guys actually decided it would be fun to shoot each other point blank with no shirts on, although their scars seem to indicate that it was actually anything but fun! Speaking of things which aren’t fun I’ve forgotten to mention my cinnamon experience! Whilst hanging out one night, and before watching ‘Once’, Henrik and I were persuaded by Kate, an American, to participate in the cinnamon challenge…basically eating a table spoon of cinnamon powder. Well, never will I do that again! I physically could not breathe as the cinnamon clogged up my airways and I don’t think I’ve ever been as scared, even with my water experiences. Thankfully on this occasion water was on hand to ease the blockage but my throat still burned and tasted of cinnamon for many hours after! Honestly, never again!

I’ve really started to enjoy Livewire again after Easter break as I feel refreshed and more at ease with tolerating a different style of worship and a different doctrinal approach to teaching. I still don’t agree with everything that is said or the way everything is done but I do feel more at ease knowing that at the end of the day we are just people worshipping the same God! And the most incredible thing is that the same God who we worship in South Africa is exactly the same God as you guys are worshipping at home which to me is just incredible. God is Lord of all! This week there was a guy speaking, Duncan Stewart http://www.duncanstewart.co.za/ who is a Christian artist and whose are represents some idea of Christianity. It was really interesting to hear him speak about how there are so many aspects to God and Christianity and his most captivating piece was one which depicted a fish in the Sea of Galilee watching Jesus and Peter walk on water, illustrating the idea that it is good to be open to different perspectives on things.

That is all I can think of right now. As I look through my journal I keep finding little things that I’ve forgotten about but I think I’ve covered the bulk of what I’ve been up to. So until next time,

Peace

God Bless

“Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord”

Philippians 3:8

PS I knew I had forgotten something! Yesterday I had my last class at the NMMU. I would just like to express a really big thanks to all those in my PGCE class who have made me feel so welcome and from whom I have learnt so much. Love you guys!!!

Take A Walk On The Wild Side

So, where we left we were stranded in Zambia for the night as we managed to miss our ferry crossing to Botswana. We had planned to get up early the next day to skip the queue for the ferry but after hitting the snooze button more than a couple of times that idea failed to materialise but we did eventually manage to haul ourselves off to the Kazungula ferry. This was probably the finniest morning of the trip. Whilst waiting for the ferry there were guys at the border trying to sell us their goods. We had decided before hand to totally play their ‘game’ with them and it proved to be a great decision. We bartered for everything and Hans, in particular, proved to be an absolute master at driving a hard bargain. One minute we were set against buying anything and the next minute I looked and Hans had bought so much junk! He even continued to bargain on the ferry, telling guys exactly what he wanted and exactly what he didn’t want and more often than not he got what he wanted in his typically hilarious fashion!

Once we had finally returned to Botswana we filled up our tank, and our wallets, and headed into Chobe National Park, just a few kilometres west of Kasane. Pretty much immediately we saw some hippos wallowing in the river and of course the ever present boks which were everywhere, as they seem to be on every safari! As we drove along the stunning waterfront it soon became apparent as to why we had hired a car with 4x4 capabilities. I had my first 4x4 experience driving along a sand track and then discovering that a fallen tree was actually blocking the track so I had to perform a ‘3 point’ turn through some pretty deep sand which was certainly interesting. I was really glad that I could be the driver on the safari as I had been a passenger on previous two occasions in Kenya so it was good to have a different perspective of things. As we drove we saw elephants, giraffe, buffalos and more hippos which was really cool. Our original plan was to camp in Chobe but we soon discovered that the map which we had paid for was outdated and the campsites we were planning on staying at were no longer operating and we were told that the road to the next campsite was too flooded for us to pass so we would have to stay the night once again in Kasane.

After a quick glimpse of Namibia from across the river we made our way back into town to set up camp. Hans attempted to pay off his Botswanan speeding fine only to discover that they didn’t have the correct books and much to his delight he found out that they probably wouldn’t follow it up if he didn’t pay it…what a police system! We camped in exactly the same place we had the night of the hippo and yet again our friend was living right beside us and making plenty of noise. We braaid and set up a wood fire under the stars and just chilled out. We chatted to our guard, Gabriel, who told us stories of how lions had come into the village and how to avoid a buffalo…hide basically! He also told us that it was easy to dodge a hippo, all you have to do is run in a zig-zag direction but I still wouldn’t fancy my chances.

We left Kasane the next morning under the cover of darkness as we had a very long drive to Maun and the Okavango Delta in the North West of the country. The Okavango delta is an area which, in the rainy season, is completely covered in water and vegetation and is extremely diverse in wildlife (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Okavango_delta). Maun is the main town for tourists visiting the delta to base themselves but it isn’t a particularly tourist friendly place as we struggled to navigate our way through the different streets and roads and when we finally got on the right road we discovered that we actually had to go back the way we came to pick up a piece of paper to enter the park! So after backtracking and stopping to play with some kids on the side of the road with our balloons we eventually entered Moremi Game Reserve on the eastern side of the delta. We only had a couple of hours left before sundown so we decided to take a quick trip away from the campsite to see what we could see. What we didn’t expect was flooding on the road every 200m! The car almost got stuck on a number of occasions and after about 45 minutes of driving we came across an elderly couple whose engine had failed because they had taken in too much water. We agreed to help tow them back to the camp which was certainly a mission as our car had struggled through some of the ‘puddles’ by itself, never mind with another car on the back. We thought we were in big trouble whenever the car broke off the tow rope in the middle of one of the water holes but rather miraculously their engine managed to start whilst in the water only to fail again once they got out. We were also reversing the car back into one of the holes when we suddenly realised we were about to go into a swamp on the left hand side from which there would have been no getting out!

Two cars successfully back at camp we showered and cooked and welcomed some very interesting visitors. While we were sitting eating our dinner we noticed something rummaging around the bin and when we shone the light on it we discovered that it was a hyena. Now these aren’t you’re average dog, they’re big, but they don’t like light so we were able to keep them at bay. Although, whilst I was talking to a Dutch camper I heard a sound behind me and when I turned around there was a hyena up on our table and it grabbed something. I rushed over to see what it had taken and noticed that rather bizarrely it had taken our cutlery box. Hans quickly set off after the hyena with his flashlight and his infamous pepper spray and somehow managed to retrieve the pepper spray from the thief. The camp wasn’t fenced so any animals were welcome to wander in and during the night we heard lions not so far away!

The following morning we set out on a game drive to ‘Third Bridge’ in search of lions. On the way I got taught a lesson in 4x4 driving as I managed to get our car stuck in the mud at the bottom of one of the water holes but thankfully with a little bit of throttle and a little bit of man power at the back, we managed to push the car out. It was a very chaotic experience, especially when we heard the glug, glug, glug noise signifying that our engine was taking in water! Still running though we continued to splash our way through the park and soon found ourselves on a vast expanse of delta landscape. Taking tracks that were off the prescribed road was fun and that was how we came across our lions! We saw two male lions and two female lions just lazing around in the long grass. A camera crew prevented us from getting any closer to the pride but rather incredibly we were out walking around and on the roof of our car a matter of mere metres from where the lions were lying! The lions had based themselves beside a rather large waterhole which was home to a rather large family of hippos, somewhere between 15-20. The hippos were so noisy and were also so close…some of them were swimming VERY close to the shore where we were parked but were incredible to see in their natural environment.

On returning to camp we realised just how dirty our car had got from driving through the mud. What was once a sparkling clean car was now a rather interesting shade of brown! Nevertheless we began our homeward journey. This involved a quick stop in Maun to pick up groceries and where Hans bargained for all he was worth to get a couple of house music CD’s much to the delight of the rest of us! That night we set up camp in the middle of the savannah. We simply took a short track off the main road and just pitched up our tents in the wilderness. It was such a surreal experience but at the same time it also felt oddly normal. Since when did camping in the African wilderness, with no protection from two legged or four legged invaders, with a Swede, a German and an American become normal? Since I arrived in South Africa and quickly discovered that here you just go with the flow and so everything becomes normal!

The next morning we awoke and drove through the Kalahari desert which certainly was not as I expected. I expected sand, I mean that’s what’s supposed to be in a desert, right? Well there was no sand but it was very, very vast. The journey that day, like the landscape, would have been unremarkable were it not for Hans picking up his third speeding fine! The rest of us were all sleeping when we felt the car slowing down to a stop and we thought we were going to have to go through another vetinary check point but we quickly realised that the reason for our stopping was a speed gun. Hans now being the pro at handling these situations pleaded with the officer to give him a student discount and, after much banter, he succeeded. He even got to use the speed gun on the next cars that were coming through. The funniest part about it was that Hans had been driving slower than Sebastian and I all day but he still managed to be the one who got a ticket!

We crossed back into SA that evening and stayed with a friend of Veronica’s in Rustenburg, the base for England at this year’s world cup. We feasted on our remaining pasta and sauce and went to bed extremely stuffed! The next morning we left our car off at the airport and picked up our new car which was to take us back to ‘the port’. Eleven hours of driving, two near road accidents, and a party KFC later we were back in Port Elizabeth. I think we were all glad to be back after our trip but we had such an incredible time on our adventures and saw so many incredible things. There are many things which I even failed to mention in these blogs but if I were to talk about everything that happened we would be here for a very very long time. So back to ‘normal’ life now! Sorry for the delay in the third part of the trilogy but I’ve been rather busy as you will discover in my next blog …

Kiss The Rain

So, our adventure continued the next morning after spending the night with a hippo for the neighbour. Putting the tents down was usually a stressful part of the day as we were all tired first thing in the morning and not fully functioning so mistakes were often made, although we did get better at it as the trip went on. Once we were packed up we set off in search of Zambia and the wonders that it was to hold.

Our first task though was to successfully negotiate the border which we had previously been warned was notoriously difficult to cross. After completing some paper work in Botswana we parked up and waited for the Kazungula car ferry which would take us across the mighty Zambezi river. The boat certainly didn’t resemble the Portaferry car ferry but it did carry out the same function, even with an engine that looked like the cavemen might have used! Even getting on to the monster was a mission as there was a sever lack of an on ramp and so our 4x4 had to be engaged for the first time! Once on the boat we enjoyed some glorious views of the Zambezi and it wasn’t long before we touched down on Zambian soil. That was when the real fun we began…

Firstly we had no idea of where to park exactly. There were cars everywhere, and I mean everywhere and in every direction! Some guy in a Spanish football shirt guided us to an unorthodox parking position and we proceeded to immigration and customs! On reading the ‘Lonely Planet’ we had figured that we would be able to pay for our visas in Rand but not for the first or last time on our trip ‘Lonely Planet’ was wrong (NB Never trust ‘Lonely Planet’!). We were told by the immigration officers that we had to pay in either kwache (the currency of Zambia) or in US dollars, which we couldn’t purchase! Not knowing what our next step should be I walked out of the building to find the guy in the Spanish shirt handing over $320 to Hans and Sebastian! Apparently they had told him our situation and he had merrily skipped off to pick up the cash at a location which I am certain it was not legal to get money from. Visas paid for we then discovered that we also had to pay about 101 other charges in order to enter the country. There was a carbon tax, a council levy, a road toll and insurance to be paid for and at every step there was Tom, the guy in the Spanish shirt, slipping us notes whether it be kwache or dollars! The border was such a joke! There were civilians just walking in and out of the customs offices, money changing hands left right and centre and we even managed to barter the price of our road toll with an official! A sign on entry to the country read ‘Zambia - fight against corruption’ which Veronica misread as ‘Zambia - not against corruption’, which I think was more accurate. Once through the gate after showing each individual paper to about 5 different individuals we then had to sort out our payment of Tom who at first wanted a ridiculous exchange rate but after an angry outburst from Sebastian we managed to secure a rate of R8 for $1 which we figured wasn’t the worst rate in the world but it wasn’t great!

Finally on the road again after spending about 3 or 4 hours around the border we headed in the direction of Livingstone. On arrival we met up with Kirsty and Rachel and it was so good to see some old faces and to catch up on how the girls had been getting on and exchange stories. We soon set up camp at the Jollyboys campsite which came complete with a pool and a braai area much to our delight! After a brief downpour we were treated to the sights, sounds and smells of Maramba market in Livingstone which was like a labyrinth of food, convenience and clothing stalls. Some of the food on offer was interesting to say the least and included piles of small fish and dried caterpillars! The other thing of note was that there were flies swarming over everything but we still bought some vegetables for our braai that evening. We braaid at the campsite with the girls and I have to say that it was great to eat meat again after a few days of pasta and sauce!

That evening we went to the luxurious Zambezi Sun hotel on the waterfront to watch a Zambian dance show. The show presented different dances and tribal traditions from four of Zambia’s provinces. The dancers were so energetic and the performance was fantastic and even included an appearance from ‘Mr. Livingstone’, one of the biggest guys I have ever seen! We later found out that David Beckham was staying in the very same hotel while we were there but unfortunately we didn’t manage to bump into him or Victoria. Speaking of Victoria, that brings me on to the main purpose of our trip…Victoria Falls!

For the first time in a very long time I didn’t see the dawn on Easter morning. However what I did see that day was perhaps an even more marvellous display of God’s living beauty. Victoria Falls, or as the locals call it, Mosi-O-Tunya (which means ‘the smoke that thunders’) was simply breathtaking. We caught our first glimpse of the fall from a view point on the eastern side and I was absolutely blown away by the volume of water passing over the rocks. Incredible! No pictures or videos truly do it justice, it has to be experienced to be truly appreciated, so I urge everyone reading this to make the journey if the opportunity presents itself. I could have settled for that first sight but better was still to come. We were going to feel the Falls!

We ventured down the path a little way and we soon discovered why everyone coming back the way was drenched from head to toe. It is recommended that you wear a raincoat or some kind of waterproof but being the intrepid and adventurous explorers that we are, we three gentlemen tore of our shirts and decided to brave the force of the water. And we weren’t disappointed. The moment when we first realised the true volume of water will be a moment that I will never forget. I can remember the four of us standing at a view point and getting soaked with water from all angles and we were just shouting, cheering, jumping and hugging each other! We had made it! It was all worth it!

We walked across Cataract bridge which connects the mainland to a small island and which was actually at a great height, but you couldn’t see the bottom through the spray so my usual fear of heights was rendered void! The bridge was really slippery though from all the water and there were some guys who were taking a run up and sliding the whole way across the bridge which looked super fun but I didn’t dare to try it! Once on the island the volume of water only increased. I honestly cannot describe the feelings that I had whilst there! Obviously the amount of water made pictures impossible so I only have words which can’t describe anywhere near the sensation. I could say incredible, awesome, amazing, brilliant but none of these would even come close! One of the best experiences of my life!

After seeing the Falls, we trekked down into the gorge to see the ‘Boiling Pot’, which is an area of the Zambezi where the water just swirls to create a whirlpool. Walking through the rainforest terrain was a new experience and we were constantly being followed by huge baboons which watched our every move. Once at the bottom of the trail we clambered on rocks in a small tributary to the Zambezi and battled with the force of the water and the rapids, knowing that one wrong step would see us swept away into the Zambezi, probably never to be seen again but it was worth it for the pictures! Our final trek of the day took us along the top of the gorge and gave us some magnificent views of the landscape but we were constantly dodging in and out of torrential showers, I’d taken on enough water for one day! That evening we ate at an African restaurant and after eating there my views on African food still haven’t changed…I’m just not a fan! I did get to play the marimba though which is like a big wooden xylophone and which sounds really cool. I even got to wear a traditional dress thing while playing it!

The next morning we went to see the Falls again, only this time from the Zimbabwe side. I was slightly sceptical about going to Zimbabwe, mainly because I knew I would have to pay a $55 visa to a country which has one of the worst leadership regimes in the world. I didn’t know if I should feel uneasy about giving Mugabe my money but I decided in the end that I should go with my friends as we had come this far together. After escaping a baboon attack we began our border crossing. The funniest part was when the immigration lady asked me where I was going and when I told her I was going to Zimbabwe she seemed surprised! I mean where else would I be going at the border??? The rest of the border was surprising hassle free and on the bridge between the countries we had a fantastic sight of the famous Victoria Falls rainbow spanning across the gorge.

In the park, we were at first a little bit disappointed at what we first perceived as a limited view but we were soon to discover the Falls in all their glory! The Zimbabwean side presents a much clearer view of the Falls and allows you too see a much extended section than on the Zambian side, due to the lack of spray in some places. Don’t be fooled though, there was still a lot of spray and yet again we found ourselves getting very, very wet! My highlight of the Zim side was standing at ‘Danger Point’ a point where you could walk out on rocks to a sheer cliff face and feel the full force of the Falls as the spray crashes against you. It just felt so natural and so uplifting to completely succumb to the water and embrace it rather than trying to avoid it. I could write much, much more about the Falls but as I have already said words don’t do it justice and I’ve already written enough so I’ll leave it at that.

We spent the afternoon saying our goodbyes to Rachel and Kirsty and then headed back to out most favourite of borders, Kazungula! We waited for around an hour and a half for the ferry as there was only one operating when we got there. Then just as the ferry pulled onto our shore at 6pm the captain proceeded to leave the boat and we were informed that the ferry would not run again until 6am the following morning. Great, we were stranded in Zambia! Thankfully we were allowed to leave the border area and we quickly found a campsite where we returned to our staple pasta and sauce diet and spent the evening recalling all our experiences from the last few days.

So, stranded in Zambia would we make it back across the border without having to do anything illegal? Would everything that was to come fall short of expectations compared to the Falls? And how long could Hans actually go for without picking up another speeding ticket? All will be revealed in the final part of the trilogy tomorrow…

High Speed

Well it’s that time of year when most people head to north to ‘the Port’ for a short break over Easter but this year I’ve actually travelled away from ‘the Port’ for my Easter adventures! That’s right Port Elizabeth is officially renamed ‘the Port’ in honour of Northern Ireland’s finest tourist attraction! As I said in my last blog I have just returned from an 11 day road trip encompassing 4 countries, over 5000km and 3 speeding tickets! I’m going to document my travels in 3 blogs over the next 3 days to make it easier for you to read and more importantly, for me to write! So the trilogy begins in a country far, far away…

Before we even left on our trip we hit a minor snag in that two of the people who were intending on going had to pull out, so two days before we were meant to go we were frantically running around trying to find people to come with us to ease the financial load of the trip! Thankfully we found Veronica who was up for coming with us and so our quartet was complete. Hans ‘MacGyver’ Fischer, Sebastian ‘Slumdog’ Häll, Veronica ‘Our Lady’ Chaidez and me, Jonny ‘The Pope’ Harper. We left ‘the Port’ on Wednesday evening not really knowing what an amazing adventure lay awaiting for us.

I should mention at this point before I go any further, that we had a fantastic night the night before watching Bayern Munich beating Man United at the sports bar…just thought I’d mention that! The drive to Johannesburg was just over 1000km and we were planning on driving through the night. I had the leg between Colesberg and Bloemfontein , a long straight stretch of road through the incredibly featureless Free State. Driving at night was tough as I had to contend with cows crossing the road and and a truck driver who had no rear lights which was an absolute nightmare to drive behind…I was so glad to get to Bloemfontein and switch drivers! It wasn’t long after that I fell asleep and sleeping seemed to be quite high on everybody’s priority list so we pulled into a service station in Kroonstad, a couple of hours south of Jo’burg because we had a bit of time to spare. Trying to sleep with four people in the car was horrendous…I actually don’t know if I’ve ever tried to sleep in worse conditions! To make matters worse some mosquitoes had got into the car and were whining infuriatingly but worse still was Sebastian’s snoring! The other three of us couldn’t take it and so bailed out of the car into the forecourt where we sat and chatted and I even got an hours sleep on lying on some wall. I was so tired that it’s a pretty hazy memory!

Anyway, after a rough night’s sleep we got on the road again around 5 and began our assault on Jo’burg. Before the trip we had been talking up how dangerous a city it was, and Hans was determined not to stop at any red lights and made sure to have his trusted pepper spray and Swiss army knife close to hand! As it proved though we only drove on the highways and arrived at O.R Tambo International Airport in no time! When we got there we deposited the car and made an attempt to change some our South African Rand into American dollars, the currency of preference in Zambia and Zimbabwe. After several pleas and attempts at the Bureau de Change and some heated comments we left dollarless, which was later to come back and kick us in the teeth! Being empty handed wasn’t enough for me though, my body also decided that it should be empty stomached due to my taking of my malaria tablet without eating. I felt wretched and was really praying that the sickness would be lifted because it was horrible!

Thankfully, my sickness was quickly removed during the period of our picking up our incredible 4x4! At first the company had brought the wrong car with only one tent and no camping equipment but due to their mistake we managed to get upgraded to a Ford Ranger with two foldable tents on the roof and complete camping equipment including fridge, gas cooker, all our cutlery, sleeping bags and pillows to name a few of the accessories! On the road again we somehow managed to navigate Pretoria, mainly thanks to Hans’s Blackberry and passed through several toll gates which were slightly ridiculous in price considering the distance we travelled between them! The most expensive outlay of the day was still to come though just south of the Botswanan border.

Travelling along a fairly normal road we spotted a man jumping up and down on the side trying to flag us down. Our initial thought was to keep driving because the guy looked pretty dodgy and Hans certainly wasn’t for stopping for anybody. As we drove closer though we noticed the police car parked beside him and so thought it would be a good idea to pull over. The big policeman came running up to the car and after moving maybe 10m he was sweating and out of breath and panted, ‘Sir, you were going too fast!’ After some further conversation Hans was issued with a speeding fine to the value of R700 (around £60). The police officers were very friendly though and were constantly joking with Hans throughout the whole thing, even teaching him some Botswanan phrases. This wasn’t to be our last encounter with the law though!

We crossed the Botswanan border shortly after, with much toing and froing as we attempted to speculate and guess what forms we might need to cross without ever actually being instructed or guided by the officials. This was something we would come accustomed to but really these countries need to sort their borders out because they are a disaster for anyone who is unfamiliar with them. Unlike my visit to Lesotho, I did also successfully stamp put of South Africa on this occasion though! After crossing the border we set up camp for the first time at a lodge/campsite and walked to the local petrol station to get something to eat. At least we tried to walk but we were picked up along the way by the two owners of the lodge because we were told there was a hippo living in the water running alongside the road! That would have made for an interesting encounter!

The next day saw another long drive as we covered Botswana south to north in one day! The roads were very, very straight and very, very long between towns, and when I say towns I mean settlements, and when I say settlements I mean a few small houses and a bus stop if you were really lucky! Along the way we had to regularly stop at vetinary checkpoints which are set up to control the spread of foot and mouth disease. At one of the posts the ‘official’ wouldn’t let us past unitl we paid him 10 pula (the Botswanan currency) for airtime for his phone…my first experience of corruption! We also saw our first elephant on the road and we maybe made it a bad mad by getting too close and blowing the vuvuzela at it but after giving a small show of it’s frustration it simply lumbered off into the forest. And…Hans picked up another speeding ticket! This time it was really funny because we were driving along the road and Hans noticed a 60 sign on the road. Now the road was very straight and there was no sign of existence so Hans flashed the middle finger at the sign and kept his foot on the pedal! Two cars pulled out just in front of him and he overtook them only to notice on the other side of the two cars there was a police car parked on the side of the road! We tried to flee but the police quickly caught up with us and brought us back to their camera. Again Hans was told that he was driving too fast through the ‘village’ and was issued with a fine of P940 (around £85)! Slightly delayed we arrived at our destination for the night on the Chobe river front at the border of Zambia, Zimbabwe and Namibia…the only place in the world where four countries share the one border at a point!

We walked around a simply beautiful waterfront area at sunset and saw hippo tracks and elephant dung, a reminder that these animals are real and do live in the wild, not just in the zoo! Our campsite was located right on the river due to high water, and being new African campers we felt a little bit vulnerable that night. We cooked our stable diet of noodles/pasta and sauce and sat around chilling out. That was when I felt something hit my shoulder with a tremendous force. I thought Sebastian had thrown something at me but when he and all the others said they hadn’t I jumped up out of my seat and everyone else gasped! The next thing I knew Hans and Seb were hitting me and then they shone the torch on the ground to reveal an enormous roach like creature. Like I mean enormous! This thing was easily the size of my external hard drive and it had just jumped down from the roof onto me! We were now slightly more on edge and when we heard an elephant trumpeting followed by a hippo growling, or whatever noise a hippo makes, we were even more panicked! That was when we realised the hippo noise was actually only coming around 30 m from our camp! We saw the large outline moving through the bushes beside our site and shining the torch revealed that it was indeed a hippo but thankfully was on the other side of the fence! Still, it was pretty strange sleeping 30m from a hippo!

And that is where we will leave the tale for now. Camped on an African border with a hippo for a neighbour and hearing some pretty strange sounds in the night! If this was Botswana, a relatively developed country in the African context, what experiences were we to have in Zambia, which was virtually unknown to us? What mishaps would we have and what incredible sights would we see? And the question on everyone’s mind was would Hans make it 3 in 3 for speeding tickets? Some people travel and collect stamps, or maybe coins but Hans was seemingly make it his mission to pick up speeding tickets in every country! So, tune in tomorrow for another exciting instalment of ‘The Bantry on Tour 2010’!!!